Lisa: Next year it will be 25 years since we met. We should do something special if…
John: We’re still together?
Lisa: I was going to say, if we win the lottery.

Lisa: (After yelling at the kids) Did that sound harsh?
John: Depends on what rank of Commandant you were going for.

(Lisa has such a problem recognising faces, John has asked her never to do a Police identity parade)
Lisa: We saw Ronnie Wood at the theatre bar last night.
John: Are you sure it wasn’t Dot Cotton?
Lisa: It wasn’t me who recognised him.
John: Ah, we’re ok then.

Lisa: We’re doing a Graffiti Art class when we go to Liverpool.
Eva: That’s good, it’s the only rebellious skill I haven’t mastered yet.
John: What? Which ones are you already confident in?
Eva: None (points out of the window) Is that a badger?

Lisa: In this romantic book, the husband describes his wife as a piano. What instrument would I be?
John: A scalpel.
Lisa: No, which musical instrument?
John: Ah. Bagpipes.

Isla: What’s for dinner?
Lisa: Chicken Jambalaya.
Isla: Ok. I’ll make it, as long as I only have to use the ingredients I like (reads the recipe).
Lisa: So?
Isla: We’re having grilled chicken.

Lisa: Is it noisier now I’m back home?
John: Put it this way, if you were a cat, you wouldn’t need a bell on your collar.

What do my freezer and my wardrobe have in common?
They’re both full but I can’t find anything I like inside.

Lisa: I can’t bear seeing your sister’s bedroom in that state!
Eva: I can help with that.
Lisa: Oh, thank you. That’s kind.
Eva: ( Shuts Isla’s bedroom door) There.

Lisa: What are you doing with my handbag?
Isla: I’m doing a rubbing of the leather texture for Art.
Lisa: Put that back, it was expensive. You can use your dad’s forehead.